Am having trouble. Cannot seem to settle in to my life back here. Have been ruminating over this going on two weeks now. Have painted, but am not happy with the results, it isn’t flowing. This is an alarming thing for one who paints for a living! I feel disconnected, distracted, by that I mean I cannot stick to anything, but wander around in my house as well as my mind. It is hard to understand intellectually. I mean there is much work to be done here for our projects there: Grants to be written, talks to be given. Here I have my beautiful home, my friends, my dogs, family a day’s drive away…so what’s the deal???

Whatever it is, it is deep. It is not just a case of wanting to do something “to give back”, meaningful. Goodness knows, we have those opportunities right here in my town. But, in Africa, I feel a connection to God and self. I cannot explain why I’m suduced by a land where the poverty, dirt, disease, strife, living conditions are so basic one bathes with a bucket and cup, is happy to have a cement floor (as opposed to dirt), limited diet. So, where is the seduction? It comes from the people as well as the land. The generosity, hospitality of those that give from nothing, it comes from working with other people from different countries who are all there working towards common goals. These goals are such human goals – PRIMEVAL goals. Not only did life begin for humans in Tanzania (remember Lucy?), but the people there still struggle with close-to-the-bone, life and death issues. And, there are the children. The children tug at my soul, their smiles, joy, hope.

Well, I guess we just have to be gentle with ourselves, give it time, and don’t try to do too much just yet…Jessie